My Anchor My Strength
by AshInScribbleLand
Summary: Ingrid starts to remember her past lives and has trouble reconciling them with her present. Also, a small twist of plot I may play with later. A little bit of Wendy/Ingrid fluff (as usual)
1. Chapter 1

This one's a lot rougher than my first story. There's a lot of repetitive emotion, but I needed to write it. I'm still working on a better title and I'm not totally thrilled with it, but here goes...

Hope you lot enjoy and reviews/feedback are always 3

XOXOXOXO

Something was changing for Ingrid and she wasn't sure who to talk to about it. Okay, so maybe she knew that going to her mom was the smart choice, talking to her aunt would be the comforting safe choice, and turning to Freya was better than not turning to anyone at all, but a part of her wasn't ready to share just yet. Her mother would be smart, her aunt would be safe, and there was something about turning to your sister that was its own brand of comfort. She was afraid that if she told anyone about them, the visions might stop. She wasn't ready to let go of those glimpses just yet.

Ingrid knew that she should be leery of learning too much of her past. She'd already had a taste of what her former lives had been like when she'd made the brownies and it hadn't been all good. Not to mention, her sister had let the need to learn about her own past nearly turn into an addiction.

This was different, she kept reminding herself. She hadn't done anything to warrant the flashes of her old life. There had to be a reason for them. Maybe there was something important in her memories that she _needed _to remember. Always the curious one, it was hard not to want to indulge in learning more. She loved history and the fact that it was her own made it much more intriguing. As a rational skeptic, she'd never believed in past lives or anything like reincarnation, but here it was in curse form. She wanted to know more, but it was scary too and starting to affect her present.

She sighed heavily as she looked at herself in the mirror. It had been a long day and all she wanted was a shower to clear the haze she'd been under lately. Ingrid may not have wanted the visions to stop, but they were still exhausting. As she finished brushing her hair, she noted how tired she looked. She told herself that all she needed was a good night's rest. She'd deal with the rest in the morning.

After the shower, Ingrid did feel better. She even realized she was a little bit hungry, having skipped dinner. It seemed that over the past week she hadn't had much of an appetite at all. Ingrid decided that she needed to spend a little bit more time in the present and stop looking for answers in the past. If she was remembering for a reason it would surface soon enough. There wasn't anything she felt safe enough to do to try and force it. The best thing would be to just let it happen on its own accord.

Heading downstairs, she found Wendy reading cards on the kitchen table. It was becoming a familiar sight. Ingrid leaned against the door frame and smiled at the scene before her. It was a comfort to have her aunt in their lives, even if Ingrid was still all mixed up about their past. She loved her family and after seeing some of their moments throughout several lifetimes she realized how much she appreciated having them all together in this lifetime once again. It was hard to fathom that only a few months ago neither she nor Freya even knew their aunt.

Wendy smiled, sensing the younger woman watching her. "There's a sandwich on the counter for you," she said without looking. "Grilled cheese with pickles," she added, turning to meet the younger woman's gaze. It was Ingrid's favorite next to PB&J (strawberry only, never grape) and she was pleased to see the goofy grin that Ingrid broke into.

The younger woman's eyes darted to the kitchen and then back to her aunt shyly. "I guess there are some perks to you being able to sense so much about me," she said, not wanting the words to sound as harsh as they did. Ingrid new it was equal parts intuition and history that her aunt had the luxury of not forgetting, but it left her feeling ten steps behind, always. She was used to her mom always knowing more, but this was different. Wendy hadn't always been in their lives, but she would always know more.

Wendy's smile lost some of its brightness, but she nodded knowingly. "I'm not trying to pry when I sense things, it just happens. As far as other things go, like knowing what sandwiches you like - that just comes from experience. You're steadfast in your favorites no matter the lifetime." She picked up the cards and began to shuffle them. "Now, go get your sandwich and come keep me company for a little bit. After all, I seem to recall that I tend to rank up there on your favorites list. Unless something has changed this time around."

"Not at all," Ingrid said quickly. "I just need time to adjust to the fact that you, like mom, will always know more about me than I know about you." She headed to the kitchen before Wendy could respond.

A few moments later Ingrid came back in, carrying a plate and a glass of ginger ale. She normally avoided soda, but ginger ale was always oddly comforting to her. "Thank you Aunt Wendy," she said with complete sincerity.

Wendy caught her chin in her hand before Ingrid could look away. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you," she said pointedly. Even with Ingrid's small nod of acknowledgment, she kept her hold on the girl for a moment longer. Something had shifted between she and her niece. She still wasn't sure what it was. Wendy didn't like the distance and may have nudged Ingrid's hunger just a little, in order to have this quiet moment with her.

Ingrid stilled at the intensity of the moment; she always did. Sometimes her aunt could be so brutally honest that it physically hurt. It was hard for her to hear the emotion in her voice during those moments - hard to believe someone cared so fiercely that they could make her feel it with words alone. All it took was that fiery gaze to fall on her and she stilled, knowing that they shared a bond that was more than just family.

She nodded once more, fighting off the tears that threatened to well in her eyes. Pulling away gently, she took a bite of her sandwich, the creamy taste of cheese contrasting with the sourness of the pickles, that still had enough texture to almost crunch. It was distracting; it was real. It kept her grounded. Ingrid felt her body begin to relax once more, as she let the moment settle around her. "What answers are you looking for tonight?" she asked, nodding towards the cards.

It was Wendy's turn to smile a bit sadly. "Well, I've been trying to figure out what happened between us, that's got you pulling away and shutting me out." Her tone wasn't accusing, but the hurt and frustration were evident. "This time I may be prying just a little bit," she said, trying to lighten the moment.

The younger woman swallowed the bite of sandwich she'd just taken and her brow crinkled as she thought of how to respond. "Aunt Wendy, there's just a lot on my mind lately. It's not anything personal. I'm just tired and..."

Her excuses fizzled out at Wendy's unchanging expression. It was no use, even if they had been legitimate her aunt wouldn't be placated by excuses and reasoning. When she saw a problem it was her instinct to fix it. That was especially true when it came to family.

"Ingrid," Wendy sighed, reaching over to play with a strand of her niece's hair. "You don't need to justify it. If there's a problem between us or I've done something to upset you I just want to sort it out. It's not good for any of us to be at odds with each other right now, but more than that I don't want there to be anything between us. What happened to the way that you used to look at me? All I see in your eyes now is pain and emptiness," she asked. Her voice was raw with emotion.

Ingrid knew it was true and she wished she'd been able to hide it better. Ever since the memories started coming back to her she had distanced herself from everyone, especially Wendy. She hadn't meant to hurt anyone; she was just trying to learn how to protect herself and make sense of everything. It was difficult though. At least with her mom and Freya she had more recent memories to counter her insecurities and doubts.

In so many lifetimes she had been adored by her aunt. This time around was no different. She knew it every time her aunt looked at her, but she was different. She could feel it. Every time Ingrid saw herself in past lives she was intimidated by those differences. Despite how ardently her mother and aunt tried to convince her that she was the same person, she had seen the truth - felt it. That girl from her past was so much stronger and well put together. She always knew who she was and what she was doing. She was talented and owned the space she occupied with a sense of confidence that Ingrid couldn't imagine having towards herself. She felt that even with all the pieces coming together in her mind she couldn't be more lost.

She nodded and took a deep breath, preparing to face the situation. "There has been something different, but it's not you. A lot _has_ been going on and I didn't want to tell anyone, but maybe it's time. Just… can we move to my room please? I'm not ready for everyone to know and it would be easier to talk in there." It didn't matter to her that talking in here alone, was no less safer than talking behind the closed door of her room. Her family had a way of not keeping secrets for long. She just wanted to be some place she felt safe. Ingrid had always liked to be tucked away in some version of comfort.

Wendy breathed a sigh of relief and nodded. She felt like Ingrid was coming back to her, if only in pieces. "Of course. We could go to the moon and back if it meant you'd talk to me. I just want to help and I want my Ingrid back." She tugged gently on the strand of hair before letting it go.

Ingrid felt her stomach drop and started to move instantly, forgetting about the sandwich and her hunger. Despite her trepidation about her relationship with her aunt, she couldn't help but want to fix things too. She'd been hiding away to protect herself, but she'd forgotten how much better her aunt could make her feel in just a few moments.

"No you don't," Wendy chided, "Finish your sandwich first, then we'll talk." She hopped down from the table and tucked her cards away in the cabinet next to her sister's. She grabbed Ingrid's glass and took it to the kitchen to refill it and make herself one.

Ingrid quickly finished her sandwich and headed into the kitchen to put her plate in the sink. Smiling, Wendy handed her back her glass and grabbed her hand. "Come along then, I for one could use a little bonding time with my wonderful niece."

The newly formed tension leave her shoulders and Ingrid knew she was as ready as she'd ever be. There was so much she wanted to say, but if she started out with the gratitude she'd never get to the actual point. She just squeezed her aunt's hand in silent thanks and trailed behind her.

By the time they reached her room, Ingrid was a bit shaky and feeling shy. She knew she had nothing to worry about with Wendy, but there was so much to explain that it seemed a bit overwhelming. Especially the parts about admitting how weak and helpless she felt.

"Sweetie, it's just me," Wendy said with a knowing look. She sat down on the bed and tugged Ingrid down next to her. She didn't let go of her hand, but quietly waited for the other woman to open up.

Ingrid couldn't form the words to begin. She looked at Wendy helplessly and started to apologize, but then quickly sputtered out the truth. "I've been remembering my past lives and not on purpose this time. They just keep coming to me. When I'm asleep, in the middle of the day, it seems like all the time something new is coming back to me," she said, voice quivering with nervous energy.

Looking truly surprised, Wendy took both of her nieces hands in her own and cautiously responded, "Well that's new. This isn't because of anything you did, right? Like the brownies?"

Ingrid shook her head. "No, after last time I wasn't sure I wanted to remember anything else, but now it seems that I don't have much choice. I'm so scared of what I'm going to find out."

Wendy tilted her head to the side and shook her head at her niece. "Honey you have nothing to worry about. As far as bad things from the past, we've all got plenty of those, but you know we've taken care of mostly all of them by now. We'll deal with the rest if need be. I get the feeling those aren't what you're afraid of though."

Despite her discomfort, Ingrid broke into the same smile she did when she'd been caught doing something she wasn't supposed to – amusement that she couldn't hide things from the people she cared about. "No, it's not those. It's just me. I guess I'm having a little trouble reconciling who I was with who I am."

Wendy nodded, imagining how disconcerting that could be. "You've always been an amazing person. There won't be anything you've said or done to be afraid of." Wendy held such compassion for her niece that she tried to convey that with words she spoke next. "If you could only see yourself through my eyes."

"Maybe part of the problem is that I have," Ingrid sighed and looked away. "It's just that - seeing how I was, before – from an outsider's perspective, it's a lot to live up to. Life after life I see this girl that looks like me, but I don't recognize her. I'm nothing like the person I've been and that in itself is terrifying. She's strong and confident in almost everything she does and I can't even handle the memories without being afraid. Did I do something wrong? Why am I not like that anymore?"

Wendy had her own theories about that, but wasn't going to trouble Ingrid with them. They didn't matter in this moment and they weren't anything that could be fixed. It was one less thing for Ingrid to worry about. "You're reading too much into this. I'm guessing that the moments that are coming back to you are the impacting ones, the ones of high intensity or danger. You're seeing huge moments and comparing them to everyday life." She squeezed Ingrid's hands gently and tried to will the younger woman to relax.

Ingrid sat up a little straighter. "It's hard to tell, they're all jumbled up and not in any order that I can tell. Some of them become clearer, but only after I get several moments of similar time. Even though they're technically not _my_ memories they're splashing over into my life now. It's hard to separate the emotions."

Wendy sat back for a moment absorbing the new information. It all explained Ingrid's distraction lately, but it still didn't quite explain why she'd pulled back so much. She knew that Ingrid already remembered the worst moment between them and that discomfort had passed already. It felt like this new rift was from something specific, not just generally feeling overwhelmed. "Tell me about one of the memories that scares you? Please?"

This was important, why they were there. It didn't make the idea of opening up any less daunting. Ingrid looked down at their entwined hands for a moment and fidgeted nervously as she looked for the right words. This was exactly why she'd agreed to talk to Wendy. She needed to open up and if she were going to have her as an alley in this, she needed to let her in.

Seeing how nervous her niece was, Wendy stayed still and quiet, just letting Ingrid take the moment she needed. She tried to send comforting energy her way, but knew this was something stronger. At this point, she could only help if Ingrid let her.

Ingrid looked up into her eyes, seeking the reassurance that she'd always sought for as a child. It was then that Wendy really understood how innocent this incarnation of her niece really was. She hadn't just been shielded from her magical ability, but from so many other things as well. She hadn't had the opportunity to find herself and really grow into who she could be. Instead, she'd been somewhat overlooked because she was the more cautious of the girls, especially in this lifetime.

Her sister's spell to cloak the girl's magic had worked a little too well. Ingrid hadn't just forgotten, she'd somehow known all along that something was missing. Not in the same way Freya had always known. It was something more personal, something that had made her feel like less. That 'less' she had rationalized into something she deserved and had lived accordingly, with the weight always trying her in every decision she made.

After a breath, Ingrid looked away and quietly began. "It's hard to see something play out that I don't remember experiencing. All the memories crash over me and I have to learn how to rationalize them with my current reality, but without the full experience, because I don't always get enough to understand them or put them in context. It's like getting bits and pieces of incredibly strong emotions and not understanding why."

Wendy hurt for her niece and wondered how many of these memories had to do with the time she had accidently killed Ingrid. Even though she was certain that wasn't the problem. They had already talked about it, but it was always something she still felt sensitive too, despite her attempts at nonchalance.

"Some of the strongest memories that stick with me are the ones that involve you," she blushed a bit admitting this, but her aunt's knowing smile pushed her forward. "I guess I've always been a little enamored with you." She had long recognized the feelings of admiration and hero-worship even before the memories began to surface. Wendy wasn't just a skilled witch, she was an amazing person. More than anything though, when she looked at Ingrid, she felt like her aunt actually saw her. Her mom and her sister knew she was there of course, but there was something different. They saw her as how she fit within their family; Wendy saw her as who she could be as her own entity.

"The feelings are mutual, I promise. Don't tell your mom or sister, but you've always been my favorite," she confided, nudging Ingrid's shoulder with her own. "Of course I love them very much, but it's different with you. Freya and I have always bonded over our similar natures and your mom of course is very dear to me, but you Ingrid - you're a force to be reckoned with. It's hard not to admire all the things you've accomplished and done over the years. It doesn't matter if you can't face that just yet; _I _know who you are and I promise you're amazing."

Ingrid looked down to her lap in confusion. She trusted Wendy, but so much of the other woman's reasoning seemed to relay on her past and her talents. She had to be more than just all that. She wanted to be more. If the was the an accumulation of all her lives, what did that really say about her – that she was really a scared little bookworm, complacent in being in the background of her families lives and desperate for something normal and boring or that she was running from who she was out of the fear that grew inside her every day.

"Ingrid," Wendy said softly, dragging out her name. "You are my heart," she nearly whispered, pain evident in her voice. She brought Ingrid's hand to rest against her heart and continued. "You always make me remember that doing the right thing is more important than doing the easy thing; you keep us all accountable. You've been like my little shadow throughout your lives, trailing behind me like I'm the amazing one, but you've always taught me more than I could ever teach you – and not just about magic, but about life and love. You have such a big heart, but you're not naïve."

Ingrid rose to her feet quickly and began to pace about her room nervously. She wanted to just be comforted by her aunt's words, but she was afraid to give in. She was afraid that if she let the happiness find her, she would lose it. All her life she had been afraid to take compliments or comfort for fear that they weren't really sincere. She had learned long ago not to depend on others, no matter how much she just wanted to connect with them.

Wendy came to block her nieces trail and dropped both hands to the younger woman's shoulders, cupping her face. "You Ingrid, you have always been my anchor. I know you said you can't worry about that now, but the truth is honey, that when I'm on the edge of insanity, you always find a way to save me. It's not about powers or ability. It's about something deeper than I can explain. When I lose myself, you always find a way to fill in those gaps. You've trusted me before and I've always tried to keep you close and keep you safe, but some things you have to learn for yourself. I can't convince you of any of this, but I hope you remember it when things get hard."

Crying now, Ingrid wrapped her arms around her aunt and buried her face against her shoulder. She held on tight, as sobs wracked her body and didn't even notice as Wendy guided them back to the bed, hand in her hair, keeping her close. Her other hand wrapped around her niece's shoulder in a protective stance. "I've got you," she promised, not letting go.

Pulling back so she could talk, Ingrid finally began to show her vulnerability. Her eyes were red from crying and she didn't try to stop the shaking of her hands or hide her need to be close. She held onto her aunt's hand as if it were her lifeline. She was still afraid that if she let go, it would all be taken from her."After I died…" Ingrid hesitated, hating to bring up the time she'd been killed by Wendy. Her aunt nodded in understanding and she continued, "I think it was the next life. We met. Freya and mom didn't know, but you were there – keeping an eye on me when I traveled. All that time ago you said you'd be back, that you just needed to give the situation time, but that you'd always be there for me. You never came, even to me. Now I just kept hoping you'd notice me the way you used to. Everyone else always just look right over my shoulder?"

Wendy was floored by the truth. She had let Ingrid down in more ways than she'd realized. "You're right. I always meant to return sooner, but sometimes it's easier to leave than it is to stay. Your mother wouldn't speak to me for decades and I thought that was the only way to be permanently back. I can't tell you how hard it was to stay away, knowing how much time I was losing with you girls. I did keep tabs on you, but I never opened myself up like that to you again. I wanted to… I understand if you're not ready to forgive me and I get why you've stopped trusting me, but I am truly sorry. I thought because you'd forget it didn't matter. You always forgot and now that you're remembering, well… " She couldn't keep making excuses, she hadn't been there, even when she'd said she would.

Ingrid shook her head and really looked at her aunt. "It's not about forgiveness. I felt like it took you forever to notice me. Looking back on those lifetimes without you, I realize that a part of me unconsciously always wondered if I was invisible. You were a part of me that was missing. You may say that I'm your anchor, but I think maybe you're my strength. You don't need my forgiveness, just make it right. Be here with me now, in this lifetime."

"Oh Ingrid, of course - and for the record, I _always_ noticed you. I wasn't the only one. Your mom and your sister love you in their own way too, don't forget that." Wendy pulled the younger woman to her in a too tight embrace. She was crying now too. She felt Ingrid squeeze back with equal fervor and they stayed like that for some time. "You have such a kind and gentle spirit. It's healing to the rest of us. If you want to understand that girl you see, I promise - you just need to be yourself. Don't ever change. Not for me; not for anybody."

"You came awfully close to telling me I had the power all along," Ingrid said, trying to sound serious. She felt her aunt's arms loosen, but not let go, and she relaxed against her. "On a serious note though, thank you - for everything."

"Ingrid," Wendy said, exasperated, "Don't thank me. Just know that I will do everything I can to fix this. I won't let you down again." She let her fingers glide through her niece's hair and found comfort in the way Ingrid still trusted her without hesitation.

They stayed like that until they were too tired to stay awake any longer. "I should let you get some sleep," Ingrid said, yawning as she pulled back. "I didn't mean to keep us up half the night." She was trying to do the right thing, but she wasn't really sure if she wanted to let go of this moment just yet. It finally felt like everything was falling into place and that even managed to make the magic feel a little more natural for her.

Wendy just smiled at her knowingly. "Always the responsible one. Alright, come on then little one," she said patting the space next to her. "After all that, I'm not quite ready to let go of you just yet. I have lifetimes to make up for." She pulled the covers down and patted the spot next to her.

Ingrid didn't bother trying to argue that she didn't want any sort of contrition; she just wanted to move forward, the way they should have been all along. She knew her aunt was only teasing in the way that you joke about something you're trying to handle. Without another word she moved towards the head of the bed and curled up under the sheets.

Wendy turned the light off, as she moved under the covers and wrapped an arm around Ingrid. Drifting off to sleep she realized she felt lighter than she had in years. Things were going to be just fine.


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay so, maybe not exactly what you were hoping for, but you all convinced me to expand this story a bit. For now, it's just a flashback, but I do have a few ideas in mind._

_K- Your wish is… well, here ya go – multi chaps!_

_**ClaudiaRain**__ – Thank you for the kind words and great feedback. I agree that I feel we got cheated of a little family bonding in the beginning, but the emotions and acting was so poignant that those moments they did share are what sparked my interest. There was a lot unsaid, but even that was very well portrayed and touching. I do feel that the instant acceptance and family melding in regards to Wendy was too quick and flawless – some friction was needed. You put Ingrid's struggle in a much more tangible light than I did and it helped me work through some glitches, I hope that shows in the next few chapters. Please don't hate me when you realize I'm not a Dash fan._

_**AuntWendyTheCat**__ – Ahh, your reviews are one of the best parts of posting my stories and NOT just because you say pretty things. Your insight has been invaluable and boosted my confidence tenfold. I'm so glad someone out there, besides myself, appreciates the bond between these two. As far as "manage[ing] to explain their connection in a way that the show can't" I have no words – really. This is my whole motivation for writing these two. There's such a strong connection, anytime they even look at one another (probably just good chemistry on the actresses parts, because they really deserved more explanation of this). I really just wanted to capture those moments and go deeper. I for one have totally fallen for their relationship and while not romantically, I completely ship them._

_**Heiti693**__ and __**Ambrosia Rose**__ – Crying is absolutely the best compliment I can get! It may sound weird, but one of the biggest things I hope for with my stories is to invoke some sort of emotion. I personally think tears (both good and bad) are the most heightened so really – thank you!_

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

Wendy laid awake next to Ingrid for some time, willing herself to relax. If it hadn't been for her thoughts she wouldn't have minded the stillness of just lying there with a sleeping Ingrid beside her. She had her knees drawn up, facing Wendy. Sleep blissfully allowing her the rest she'd been lacking these past few days. It hadn't taken long for Ingrid to fall asleep at all. Smoothing her hair back away from her face, Wendy studied the peaceful look on her niece's face. It seemed their talk had been just what she'd needed.

It was hard for her to wrap her head around how such a simple conversation, filled with what she thought were obvious truths, could bring Ingrid back to the present so quickly and effectively. She hadn't said anything that should have come as a surprise. She'd never shied away from heartfelt truths or been closed to discussing things seriously, at least not with family. Even after hearing the reasoning's, she didn't understand why Ingrid didn't confide in her sooner.

Wendy hated how lost Ingrid seemed lately. She really just needed to get out of her own head for a bit and enjoy the present. That was where the truth she had such a craving for was. In the present moments where she made the choices. Wendy's truths however, seemed to stem from the past. Whether Ingrid wasn't repentance or not, she desperately wanted a way to make things right.

Before they had laid down she could barely keep her eyes open. Now, the thoughts wouldn't allow her rest. She kept going back to that day – the day she promised Ingrid she'd be back.

She had spent just a few days with the girl, knowing she'd have to say goodbye. She knew Ingrid understood how hard it was for her to have stayed away so long, but she didn't think her niece understood difficult it had been to see her, knowing she couldn't stay.

Trying unsuccessfully to distract herself, she reached over and turned the light back on. Knowing Ingrid there were bound to be more than a few books nearby. She wasn't disappointed and picked up one off the nightstand and tried to read. It was a futile attempt as her mind continued to wonder, but it helped her feel slightly more in control.

**XOXOXO**

_I don't know where I'm at_

_I'm standing at the back_

_And I'm tired of waiting_

_Waiting here in line, hoping that I'll find what I've been chasing._

Ingrid was barely seventeen, but Joanna had allowed her to go away for school. She had finished high school early (no surprise there) and it was one of the first lives where she'd really had the opportunity to attend college. Even Joanna couldn't deny her daughter that, knowing how desperate she was for learning. It was the first lifetime Ingrid really took off on her own and traveled away from the family.

College life was intimidating, but Ingrid faced it head on with intrigue and wonder. She may not have been sheltered, but that didn't mean she wasn't prone to ending up in trouble. As soon as Wendy had found out she was setting out on her own, she had decided to go and check on her.

Joanna may not have wanted her to be a part of their lives, but that didn't mean she didn't stay informed to how they were. Normally she never interfered, there was no reason good enough to intrude upon her sister's wishes. She needed time - that was all. Wendy had tried to respect that. It didn't change the fact that she missed them all. Knowing that Ingrid would only be a town away from where she currently lived, she couldn't not go and see her.

She told herself she would just go see her, make sure she was okay, and leave without her Ingrid ever knowing. She wasn't going to interfere, she just wanted to make sure she was okay. All of that was of course very noble, but the truth was she was mostly just making excuses because she missed her family.

It didn't take much for Wendy to charm her way through the admin building and gain access to her niece's schedule. It also wasn't a giant leap for her to realize how easy it would be to slip her way into Ingrid's art class. She had always looked the part of the eccentric artist, something her sister had never pulled off. "Of course she's in art Joanna. She doesn't even like art, she's just pleasing you," Wendy grumbled as she skimmed the record, "At least it's art history in application, something closer to her own passions." She had to admit that learning things by a hands on approach _was_ exactly like her niece.

She wouldn't drop in on the first class. She wanted something more subtle. By the third class things should still be hectic enough that she could slip in while everyone was still too new to remember one another, but hopefully it would be a little less formal and more focused on some project than the introductory period of the first sessions.

_I shot for the sky_

_I'm stuck on the ground_

_So why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down_

_I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?_

_Never know why it's coming down, down, down._

That morning she reminded herself that the plan was only to check in on her niece. She'd go to class, see her, and then leave without anyone being the wiser. When she got there she discovered that they were working on paintings. The teacher was more interested in tapping into their creative side, than teaching them any history and as a first semester project had them painting anything they wanted.

Wendy knew this kind of impromptu freestyle would drive her niece crazy. Ingrid liked rules and guidelines, unless of course she was trying to break them. Finding an empty spot nearby, she watched her niece struggle with getting started. There was no doubt that Ingrid was talented in any endeavor she started, but sometimes she just needed a shove in the right direction.

Carefully Wendy sent just enough magic her way to loosen up her inhibitions a bit. As if sensing the change, Ingrid turned around curiously. Finding her aunt's eyes, she smiled oddly and went back to her painting. Wendy froze as Ingrid's eyes landed on her, but tried to stay focused on the canvas in front of her. She was just here to see she was alright.

Spending so much effort focusing on not focusing on Ingrid, Wendy found herself getting lost in her own picture. Even the professor seemed to notice as she walked around and asked Wendy about her painting and her obvious talent and if she'd considered entering something into the college's art exhibition.

She was nothing compared to her sister, but having invested as much time as she had, she was bound to have picked up something. Carefully Wendy explained that it was just a lifetime of practice and that art was really more her sister's forte than her own, but she enjoyed it all the same.

Ingrid had turned around to listen and smiled at her as though they shared some secret. Wendy couldn't help smiling back, but she ached for more. She looked away and tried to find some distance from her emotions. She needed to get out of this situation fast, but she wasn't ready to. Deciding to just wait out until the end of class, not wanting to rob herself of a few extra moments with Ingrid, she tried to focus on her painting. She carefully watched Ingrid as she worked, not letting the young woman catch her eye again.

Class was nearly over and everyone began to start cleaning up. Wendy, never one to be rushed, took a few moments to add some finishing touches to her painting.

"That's really good. You've very talented," a voice said from over her shoulder. Wendy didn't need to turn to see who it was. She quickly said her thanks without facing Ingrid. She couldn't or all her walls would come crashing down.

"I couldn't help hear you say your sister is an artist? My mom is too, she teaches art at the local high school, but she also paints freelance," Ingrid said, with eager interest.

Wendy let out a small sigh, knowing that she couldn't really help herself. "She sounds like an interesting woman and you certainly inherited some of her gift. Your painting was pretty awesome too," she said, gesturing with her paint brush towards the girl's canvas.

"Thank you," Ingrid said. She blushed a little, but didn't duck her head as she did as a child. She was past the age of growing into her skills, but hadn't lost her humility. She was confident in her abilities and eager to learn, but she took compliments to heart and appreciated the goodness in others. "I was wondering if you had a class right after this one or if you had some free time? I was thinking that maybe we could get some lunch? This is my first semester here, so I'm still kind of getting used to where everything is."

Wendy bit her lip in anticipation. Did she dare stay longer and spend the afternoon here? It was so tempting, but she knew she shouldn't. It was already going to hurt enough when she left, as it was. Ingrid was doing just fine, she should have known she would. She'd done her part, what she'd set out to accomplish; it was time to let go.

"I'm sorry. I really shouldn't. I've got some stuff and, well, I don't know my way around the campus much either. It's my first day. Maybe some other time," Wendy explained, trying to ignore the hurt in Ingrid's gaze. She would get over it and Wendy would find a way to get over it too.

Ingrid nodded, trying not to show the sting of rejection. "Okay, maybe some other time then." The defeat was obvious in her posture, but she smiled brightly all the same. She had always been kind. It wasn't like her to make others feel guilty, even unintentionally.

This was supposed to have been easy, but it was breaking Wendy's heart. She wasn't ready to give up and fall back into the shadows. She knew leaving was for the best though. She may have been attached to her niece, but there was no way Ingrid had formed an attachment yet; she was protected from any harm that might occur.

_Not ready to let go_

_Cause then I'd never know_

_What I could be missing_

_But I'm missing way too much_

_So when do I give up what I've been wishing for._

"Ingrid?" Wendy called out, just as the girl's feet hit the threshold. She shrugged as a smile danced upon her lips. "I could do lunch." They'd barely met and Ingrid had reached out. How could she pass that up? The girl must have sensed something between them and she couldn't bear to let that go just yet. _My sweet girl_, she thought as she watched Ingrid's reaction.

Ingrid's smile lit up the room and made Wendy's heart beat just a bit faster. She had missed her more than she could explain. It wasn't just that she and Ingrid weren't close any longer; Joanna had taken what was left of her family away too. Ingrid had always been her lifeline, but now she had no one. She knew that losing Ingrid this last time had been especially hard for her sister, but Joanna had no idea what this was doing to her. Joanna had her back, but Wendy had no one.

They made their way to a small café nearby that she had seen on the way in. It wasn't anything fancy, but the atmosphere was close and quiet allowing them to get acquainted all over again.

Wendy was always amazed at how each version of the young witch could be so familiar, but so new all at the same time. It was always her Ingrid, but with each incarnation she seemed to grow and hunger for more. She couldn't help but be grateful that her sister had allowed Ingrid to leave home to attend school. She was obviously enthralled with the whole experience.

She told Wendy all about her classes and her dreams for the future. With some encouraging prompting, she even opened up about what she was afraid of and what was holding her back. She was so eager to explore these thoughts with someone who showed interest. Ingrid had always processed things best by talking through them and this time was no different.

Several times during lunch Wendy caught herself just staring at her niece in wonder. Knowing it wasn't exactly the response one would expect from a first time lunch with a stranger she had to keep grounding herself in the reality of the situation.

Sensing her new friend's sadness, Ingrid seemed to back pedal her enthusiasm a bit. She was always one to comntemplate the situations at hand and Wendy squeezed her arm in appreciation. "I'm just a bit weary, you don't have anything to worry about," she said, affectionately.

"Am I that obviously?" Ingrid asked, cheeks coloring in embarrassment. It wasn't so much that she had been concerned, she was just unnerved a bit at the direct attention. She was so used to being on the sidelines that this focus of attention was foreign.

Wendy shook her head. "No you're not obvious about it. Most people don't see things because they're so focused on themselves and their own worries. You have a good heart."

"You noticed," Ingrid said tentatively, looking for some confirmation that the other woman liked her. She wasn't used to desiring attention, but this felt different. She wasn't competing with Freya or being the good daughter her mother expected. This was something of her own.

Wendy slid her arm to Ingrid's hand and squeezed. "I did." She didn't offer any more explanation than that, afraid that she would say too much if she tried to elaborate. They stayed like that in amicable silence for a few minutes.

Feeling the creeping sensation of running out of time, Wendy knew it was time to wrap things up. "I guess we should get going. I've still got to pack and I'm sure you have things you need to do as well." It was a blatent lie, but she needed to get out of there and away from her quickly.

They finished the remainder of their lunch quickly. After much instance, Wendy finally allowed Ingrid to pay for them both. She had always had trouble denying her. Making their way outside, everything seemed to slow down.

"I would really love to do this again," Ingrid said, smiling fondly at the older woman. She readjusted the bag on her shoulder, trying not to fidget too much. She had been a little worried about making friends. It was the first time she'd truly been without her family. Yet this woman, made her feel completely relaxed and like herself. It was a gift she wasn't ready to give up.

A bleak attempt at a smile spread across Wendy's face, as reached over to grab her niece's arm, running her thumb against it tenderly. She tried to hide her emotions, but it was no use. She was feeling too glum to care. "Me too, Ingrid. I mean that. I've had a wonderful afternoon. It would be a pleasure to do this again, but I'm not sure -"

Ingrid smiled bashfully, but she didn't look away. "How about tomorrow?" she asked seriously. There was a small edge of panic in her voice, somehow sensing that she needed to move fast. There was no room in her question for backing away or not answering.

"I'm actually headed back home tomorrow for the weekend," Wendy said, feebly trying to make excuses. She told herself she should just walk away, but the choice wasn't that simple. Everything she knew to logically make sense, felt so wrong. Seeing Ingrid's crushed features, she softened. "I could meet you for dinner tonight, though. Unless twice in one day is too much?"

Ingrid shook her head no. "I'd really like that. I know I keep saying it, but I really had a great afternoon with you. I hope I didn't bore you too much with all the rambling I did."

"Not at all," Wendy said smiling. She grabbed Ingrid's hand in both of hers. "You're a delight to be around. I promise there is nothing at all boring about you. The enthusiasm you have for things just shows how passionate you are. Don't ever lose that or let people convince you it's wrong. You're going to do great things Ingrid, I just know it."

She leaned forward and hugged her niece tightly, trying to ignore the burning in her eyes. She could not cry in front of her. Wendy had one hair tangled in Ingrid's hair and felt her squeeze back just as tightly.

Letting go, she said goodbye as quickly as possible and left. Once out of sight, she stopped to lean against the building. Breathing heavily, she let the tears fall. She honestly didn't know if she'd be able to leave.

_I shot for the sky_

_I'm stuck on the ground_

_So why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down_

_I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?_

_Never know why it's coming down, down, down._

_Oh I am going down, down, down_

_I can't find another way around_

_And I don't want to hear the sound, of losing what I never found._

The afternoon's strain did nothing for Wendy's mood. On the small hope that she could make things right, she tried to call Joanna and work something out. Her sister didn't answer and she knew nothing had changed.

Wendy knew that dinner that night would be their goodbye. Even though Ingrid didn't have the same history with her, or at least remember it, she knew it was cruel to just leave her without a word. Ingrid had been so engaged in their discussions at lunch and the look in her eyes was pure intrigue. It seemed wrong to not give her closure.

Coming out of the restroom, her eyes quickly found Ingrid. The only trouble was that, standing there, she realized she was already in over her head. She watched as Ingrid waiting anxiously – eyes darting around with nervous excitement. Apparently, even though the memories were gone, they still connected just as quickly. There wouldn't be anything she could say to give Ingrid closure – no way to make her understand.

She'd seen that look on her niece's face many times, never once had it made her feel like a terrible person. Maybe Joanna was right to keep her away from the girls. Wendy didn't want to admit it, even just to herself, but coming here had been selfish.

Ingrid was resourceful and smart by nature, she'd know how to keep herself out of trouble or find a way to handle it. Wendy had just wanted to see her and find that connection once more.

Watching the scene before her, she noticed the cute guy in the corner nervously watching Ingrid. He looked harmless, but smart – just the type of person Ingrid needed in her life. Finally, ready to make his move, he walked over to Ingrid's table and they began talking.

Knowing Ingrid was distracted for the moment she slipped across the restaurant and left. She only glanced back once and wished she hadn't. The boy had sat down across from Ingrid and was still talking, but Ingrid wasn't focused on him.

She had spotted Wendy and instead of confusion, she looked – like she'd known it was going to happen. It was all pain and resignation. She sadly waved and nodded knowingly, but Wendy quickly ducked her head and started walking, trying to hide the tears. It wasn't supposed to end this way and it wasn't supposed to hurt this much. Killing Ingrid had been an accident, but this? This was a level of pain for both of them that she was creating, knowingly

_I shot for the sky_

_I'm stuck on the ground_

_Why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down_

_I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?_

_I'll never know why it's coming down, down, down._

It was then she decided to write the letter. There was no way she could have explained her reasoning's or vague excuses in person. Ingrid would have asked too many questions. A simple letter, explaining what she could and avoiding what she couldn't would have to do. It was better than nothing; she couldn't leave things the way they were – broken plans with no explanation.

_My darling girl, _

_ I am so sorry that I couldn't make dinner tonight. I feel terrible, but I didn't know how to contact you. I'm hoping the school will make sure this gets to you, but I know that won't make up for dinner. I would like to say that we could reschedule, but it's not possible right now. _

_ There are things going on in my life that I wish I could explain, but even then I don't know if they'd be enough to combat your determination or sense of justice. I have to go away though. It's so complicated and I truly wish there was another way. _

_ I will find a way to make this right and when I do I'll come back. I _will_ find you; I just need to give the situation some time. There's a lot in my past that I need to make amends for and not everyone is as understanding or forgiving as you are._

_ Just know that I will do my best to make things right. I know this letter may not make a lot of sense to you – there's so much that I can't say. In times of trouble know that I will always be there for you. You may not always see me, but I promise I won't ever stop looking out for you. _

_ I know you'll accomplish your dreams and so much more. You have such potential, just believe in yourself. Know that there is nothing you could do that wouldn't make me proud. I wish you nothing but the best. You're exceptional and deserve all this life has to offer you. Cherish each moment and know that you are so very loved. _

_All my love,_

_Wendy_

There was a chance that this letter would merely confuse Ingrid and make her wary of their friendship. There was so much she hadn't been able to properly explain. It didn't matter though, she needed to say those things. She needed to convince herself that she was doing all she could.

Wendy regretfully slipped the letter into the mail slot of the school's office, wishing she'd at least had the courage to explain in person. It was too late for that though and with defeated resignation she left.

_I shot for the sky_

_I'm stuck on the ground_

_Why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down_

_I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?_

_I never know why it's coming down, down, down._

Wendy leaned over Ingrid to turn the light out, before she even managed Ingrid shifted in her sleep. The movement had Ingrid to stir and with sleepy eyes, she mumbled something incomprehensible. Wendy noted that in this confused state she seemed scared.

"It's alright sweetie, I'm just gonna turn off the light. Go back to sleep." She reached over once more and this time managed to turn the light of. Lying back down on the bed she exhaled. She was still all mixed up about her own emotions and wondered if things were truly okay between them.

Wendy glanced over to make sure Ingrid had found her way back to sleep, but the younger woman was quietly watching her. She offered a half-hearted smile, still hurting for her niece and how she had hurt her.

Ingrid scooted closer and tossed a sleepy arm across her aunt's waist. "Stop overthinking everything," she said, a teasing smile on her lips. When her aunt gave her a guilty look and a conceding nod, she put her head down against Wendy's shoulder.

With the arm that was wrapped around Ingrid, she gave a small squeeze and let herself relax. She kissed her niece on the forehead and heard her mumble a sleepy goodnight. Wendy let the moment chase away her thoughts and finally found herself drifting to sleep.

**XOXOXOXO**

Hope you guys enjoyed. Sorry about the delayed posting. I've gotten distracted with teaching myself how to make fan videos. Good news though, a. they're getting a bit better each time and 13. They're Wendy/Ingrid centric. If you'd like to check them out (and keep yourself angsty until the next postings) the link is below just replace *dot* with an actual . and remove any spaces. I would love some feedback on them if you do check 'em out. Gravity was the first and Breath Me was the second.

**Vids**

www *dot*youtube *dot* com/playlist?list=PLYMvgYwlARKaW0ywsypxEDOIOuGMTm9ee

**Gossip (B/C it's Mind Boggling)**

Can we all take a moment to squee over the fact that Madchen dubbed them with a name when I asked?

**Mädchen Amick** auntwendythecat Sep 7

" AshnScrbblLnd: Dashing, Frillian, Frendy, Dashillian? We need 2 find 1 f/Wendy & Ingrid #WitchesOfEastEnd" - how about #Ingy rachelboston

**Mädchen Amick** auntwendythecat Sep 7

" Jackie_Girl02: AshnScrbblLnd auntwendythecat Wengrid?" - hahaha rachelboston

I still prefer Ingy, but seems like everyone has taken to Wengrid, including Rachel

**Rachel Boston** rachelboston Sep 8

v_blair auntwendythecat Jackie_Girl02 AshnScrbblLnd hahaha! Yes! #TeamWengrid


	3. Chapter 3

Well hi there! Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I wrote this chapter twice before I was happy with it and it felt complete. I'm not sure how well everyone is going to like it – I should warn you this story is now headed in a direction there's no backing up from and most people might not like. On the flip side, I have a killer back story for what this chapter deals with that I'm super excited about.

I forgot to credit the song I used in the last chapter – which was, "Down" by Jason Walker. This story includes another song. I highly recommend listening to them before or during reading.

Also, I apologize for the millions of typos and edits that still need to be fixed when I post. I'm tend to write rather quickly and sometimes the ideas come faster than I can accurately type!

FINALLY, a big thank you to Hanna (Heiti693) for the brainstorming on this story and several awesome lines that I got to incorporate.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

_**"The Scientist"**_

**[Coldplay]**_  
_

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are  
I had to find you, tell you I need you  
Tell you I'll set you apart  
_

Ingrid woke up feeling more rested than she had in a long time. It was the first time in weeks she wasn't groggy and sore from poor sleep. There was something familiar about the warmth surrounding her, but she was still too sleepy to open her eyes. Burrowing deeper into the covers she recognized the not-quite-awake murmurings of another person and recognized the warmth for what it was. Safety.

Bleary eyed, she peeked out from under her lashes and found her aunt beside her still mostly asleep. Ingrid pulled away from the other woman's shoulder just enough so that she could watch her for a moment. She smiled softly as she remembered the conversation they'd had the night before. Everything was starting to fall into place in a way that she could almost handle.

She was starting to feel more like her old self again - the person she was before she knew she had magic, but she was still unsettled. Maybe more so than she'd been the night before. All she wanted was her old life, but she couldn't imagine that without Wendy or the way her family had become even closer. The night's relief was slipping away from her fast. It was unsettling how familiar, yet new everything was to her. Especially Wendy.

She had thought reconnecting with Wendy would be enough. Once the memories had started all Ingrid could focus on was repairing the damage between she and her aunt. Everything had seemed so much simpler the night before. They had repaired some of the damage and were headed in the same direction, but now Ingrid had even more questions.

Ingrid wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep and forget her own insecurities, but the relief was short lived. She had been so desperate to make things right with her aunt that it had affected her to the point where other people were noticing.

Ingrid was not a needy person. She took care of herself and was responsible and was logical and rational. She wasn't used to any level of dependency.

And yet...

Wendy seemed to breech those barriers. It was something that apparently had started long ago and the fact that Ingrid didn't have much choice in this lifetime unnerved her. It wasn't the bond she shared with Wendy that she disliked, as much as not remember how it had formed over the years. Wendy knew all their history, and her own memories barely scratched the surface.

Whether she understood it or not, Ingrid knew Wendy was an element of her life that she needed. She had never had a friendship so close or so dear. Always intentionally hiding in Freya's shadow, she shielded herself from most outsiders. But Wendy sought her out. There was no denying her aunt the friendship they shared and even though it scared her a little she didn't feel the need to.

With Wendy she had both protection and encouragement. It was the perfect mix of comfort and care with the contrast of encouragement and tough love. She knew how much she had already grown under her aunt's guidance and recognized the gift with complete gratitude.

_Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions_  
_Oh let's go back to the start_  
_Running in circles, coming in tails_  
_Heads on a science apart_

She wanted to know more, she wanted Wendy to help her understand all those things that only she could. Wendy knew her better than anyone in the family, maybe better than anyone ever; she was the only one that could help give Ingrid back her history or the closest thing to her history that another person could.

Practically able to hear her niece overthinking everything, She just wanted to hang on to this moment a little bit longer before moving to the next. Wendy pulled Ingrid close and hugged her and ducked her face against Ingrid's hair before giving into the inevitable. Letting go of Ingrid, she opened her eyes and gave her a knowing look. "Can we at least go downstairs and get some tea first?" she asked, knowing her niece wanted to talk.

The younger witch's lips quirked into a smile, as the heat rose to her cheeks. "Yeah, we can do that. I'm sorry Aunt Wendy, it's just... I have so many questions and you're the only one that can answer them. There's so much I want to know." She sat up in bed, looking down at her aunt with such eager excitement. Wendy knew she couldn't deny her anything.

She nodded as she rubbed her shoulder where Ingrid had been, working the blood back into her still sleep arm. "I know sweetie and I will answer all of your questions. I just need to wake up first." She ruffled Ingrid's hair and kissed her on the forehead before gliding out of bed and holding a hand out towards Ingrid. "Coming?"

They had played this game nearly every lifetime. Wendy would charge into Ingrid's life when she felt the moment was right and send the girl into a whirlwind of new excitement. Ingrid, of course, loved the experience, but she always wanted to understand it. _Gut vs. head,_ Wendy thought, smiling at the familiarity of it all.

Even before her curse, when she'd been able to shift into a cat without any baggage attached to it, Wendy had always had sharp instincts. Granted, as Jo often told her, they could be reckless and rushed, but for the most part they served her well. No one was perfect.

She had a close bond with both her sister and Freya, but she'd always been intuitive towards Ingrid on a whole different level. Tapping into that with just the right amount subtly she had watched Ingrid gain confidence and grow into an amazing witch every lifetime. She didn't credit it to her own guidance, but seeing the difference in Ingrid this time, she wondered if her presence didn't at least bring comfort. This new level of fear was something different than what she'd ever experienced with her niece. Navigating it was something she would have to completely learn.

She wasn't used to this much of a wedge between them either. Ingrid had always been just as open to sensing her aunt. Their intuition had always gone both ways - a psychic bond they seemed to share. Joanna and Freya had a similar bond. Maybe the fact that Ingrid had been exposed to that without being a part of it had left her closed to even the idea of it. Wendy wanted to find a way to reconnect.

While it was true that Ingrid had always been smart. She hadn't always been quite so realistic or skeptical. It made it harder to earn her trust. This new development in their dynamic was probably going to become more than just a mild hiccup. Wendy had allowed the previous night to coax her into a relaxed state of mind. She had allowed herself to feel at ease and hoped that it would stick for Ingrid, but this had been the downfall she'd been waiting for.

Ingrid always had another question, just when you'd thought you'd finished. Ingrid could be just a tiny bit obsessive when it came to things that peaked her interest. Wendy knew that would answer anything she wanted to know, but she had a feeling that it wouldn't be enough. Trust was something that needed to be built between them and this time, it needed to be concrete. Ingrid needed that kind of tangible proof in this lifetime to counteract all the self-doubt, fear, and insecurity she harbored.

She had moments of pure strength when she showed how strong she was in her convictions and stood up for herself and those she loved. She was fiercely protective of her family, especially Freya. However, in between those moments that pushed her to that edge were moments full of self-doubt and fear. Ingrid didn't have the confidence in herself to carry over to those times that weren't extreme. It was the day-to-day tedium that wore her down and made her doubt.

_Nobody said it was easy_  
_It's such a shame for us to part_  
_Nobody said it was easy_  
_No one ever said it would be this hard_  
_Oh, take me back to the start._

When they got downstairs Joanna already had the kettle on and was working on breakfast. "Morning you two," she greeted.

_"_You're up early," Ingrid said, smiling brightly as she began to grab teacups for each of them.

Joanna nodded and turned the burner off. "I've got a meeting at the school before classes. They want to start an art club after school."

Ingrid had swiped a muffin off the counter next to her and swallowed. "An art club? How are you going to squeeze that in with everything else? It's not like we ever catch a break around here."

Joanna shrugged as she scraped the eggs she'd made out of the pan and onto a plate. "I don't know, but it's not exactly like I can turn them down. The arts programs are always struggling for funding, any awareness and publicity we can raise for it keeps me in a job."

Wendy turned in her chair to look at her sister incredulously. "Do you really need a job Jo? Surely you've piled away a little money over the years."

"I like my job," Joanna said, placing the eggs on the table. She began to set the table for four as she spoke. "Most of what I had saved is what you and the girl's used to bail me out of jail; I don't like to keep a lot of cash on hand, it always draws in too many questions. Besides, I haven't heard you boasting about your finances."

Wendy shrugged her shoulders and looked away annoyed. "I'm not supposed to be the responsible one," she said, as she snagged a piece of bacon.

Joanna ignored her sister's petulance. "…and this is why I work. Ingrid, you look like you actually got some sleep. Feeling better?"

Ingrid shot her aunt a nervous look, but answered without hesitation. "I am actually. I slept really well for a change." She knew she hadn't done anything wrong, but she wasn't ready for everyone to know about her memories returning just yet. It was still a lot for her to adjust to. She didn't want to deal with the questions and looks that would be aimed at her once her mom and Freya found out.

Wendy shook her head discreetly at Ingrid, not wanting her to worry. She wouldn't tell until Ingrid was ready. "Well I for one am glad things are starting to brighten up around here," she said, tossing the paper she'd been looking at aside. 

"Here ya go," Ingrid said, placing a cup of tea in front of her aunt. She sat down next to her aunt, giving her a sideways glance. She wasn't going to relax until they talked and with her mother there that wasn't happening.

Wendy nodded gratefully. "Thank you sweetie," she murmured, breathing in the steam. She could feel Ingrid bouncing nervously next to her. Sliding her hand under the table she rested her hand against Ingrid's knee to still her. "Isn't Freya eating?" Wendy asked, trying to move breakfast along a little faster before Ingrid exploded.

"I'm here, I'm here," Freya said, stumbling down the stairs. She was rubbing her eyes sleepily and plopped down next to her sister. Joanna got up to make her youngest a cup of tea, while Freya told them all about the dream she'd had.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Forty minutes later, Ingrid and Wendy sat at the kitchen table finally alone. "You want to talk and suddenly the whole family wants to have an actual sit down meal. I guess there's something to be said for quiet times in this family," Wendy said, preparing herself for the onslaught of question she knew were headed her way.

Ingrid smiled nodding. Things had seemed to slow down for them recently and it was nice to just be able to live their lives a little bit more at ease. "Tell me about before, what we were like," Ingrid prompted, eyes wide with hopeful anticipation.

"Alright," Wendy said, "I guess the best place to start is the beginning." She spent the next few hours, reliving some of Ingrid's past lives and sharing the stories that she most loved. There was a lot she left out, particularly the 1870s. Which was a shame because Ingrid had done some amazing things in that lifetime. There was no way to share that without including the bits she wasn't ready to go into though; it was too painful.

Ingrid's questions were leading to more dead ends than the younger woman liked, but she absorbed what new information she could with rapt attention. "Aunt Wendy?" she asked, shifting nervously in her seat.

Wendy sighed knowingly. "Ingrid?" she responded, waiting for the questions she'd been dreading. Ingrid was smart, she knew she'd noticed. She had hoped just this once, Ingrid wouldn't question.

"You've shared so much, but you've also skipped over a pretty big chunk of time," Ingrid said, trailing off not quite sure how to broach the subject. "What was I doing before Archibald? You've skipped over that whole section of my life?"

Wendy nodded and swallowed hard. She reached over and took Ingrid's hands in hers. "I will tell you about those times one day, but please don't ask me about them yet."

Wendy dearly hoped that what she'd shared would be enough, but the distracted look Ingrid left with told her not to get her hopes up. Ingrid's curiosity hadn't been quelled and she wasn't sure what else to do.

___I was just guessing at numbers and figures__  
__Pulling your puzzles apart__  
__Questions of science, science and progress__  
__Do not speak as loud as my heart__  
_

Ingrid had spent the afternoon letting the stories her aunt had shared marinate in her mind. She still had so many questions, but nearly every one she'd asked had been received with hesitation and half-hearted answers. As the morning had gone on, Wendy had seemed even more guarded and distant. Ingrid wasn't sure why and she couldn't seem to let any of it go.

She didn't think Wendy was hiding anything particular from her, it hadn't felt like it did with Athena and Archibald. She seemed more afraid than elusive. She had been so lost in her thoughts, she'd almost overlooked the spell in front of her. She'd been trying to research one of the spell books she had at the library. Most of it was nonsense and highly inaccurate speculation, but there had been a few that looked promising.

"A spell to view the memories of another," Ingrid read. A wave of inspiration came over her and she began to put together a plan to really figure out what was going on and learn about their pasts.

XOXOXOXOXO

"Wendy" Ingrid said, approaching her aunt in the garden, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Wendy lowered her sunglasses and sat up from the lounger she'd been laying on. "Of course sweetie," she said, patting the spot where her feet had been. "What's on your mind?"

"It's about this morning. I know you said you don't want to talk about that time period, but I think I might have found a way around that. Whatever it is, it's obviously still affecting you. You shouldn't have to deal with that alone. Maybe if I knew what it was, I could help."

Wendy sighed. She was afraid of this. All morning she had skirted around telling Ingrid too much. She had hoped that just giving her a little bit of insight into so many different experiences would stop her incessant need to understand, but obviously that hadn't been the case. "Ingrid, honey, you said the memories were coming back, why not just let them and see what happens." She wasn't going to dare tell Ingrid that those particularly memories weren't going to come back. She felt guilty about spelling her niece's memories, but she wasn't sure what other option she had. They belonged to the past and needed to stay there.

Ingrid shook her head. "They just come back in fractions and even though they're starting to make sense, this would be so much faster. I found this spell today at the library; it lets you view someone else's memories. I was thinking we could try it."

"Absolutely not," Wendy said, rising to her feet in near panic. "That spell is dangerous Ingrid and just… no. I thought telling you about the past would help, but now I'm starting to think I should have never indulged this. There aren't answers for you there honey. You need to stop focusing on it so much."

"How can it be dangerous? I only want to help. Just last night you said there wasn't anything in my past to be afraid of, yet now it's too dangerous to know? I don't understand." Ingrid was on her feet, trying to confront her pacing aunt.

"Ingrid, you're not just messing with your own past here. Why can't you trust me? Why isn't this enough?" Wendy asked, trying, but failing, to mask the hurt she felt. "You don't need to keep searching for answers. You said your memories were already coming back, just let this play out naturally. I just got you back; I don't want to lose you to the past. You've always counted on me to protect you, trust me when I say that's all I'm doing now."

"There's nothing natural about this; remembering my past lives in bursts? I don't know anyone else, except Freya, who has to deal with that. Besides, it's not enough if you're hurting and something in my past is causing that. I'm not going to judge you. I just want to understand and help," Ingrid said desperately. She needed Wendy to understand that it wasn't any sort of rejection.

Wendy shook her head, trying not to panic. All she wanted to do was protect Ingrid from the past. It may not have been anything as detrimental as killing her, but that didn't mean it wasn't serious or painful in its own right. She had been horrified when she'd accidently killed Ingrid, but this memory was so much harder for her to face.

Ingrid had no idea what she was pushing at and Wendy needed to convince her it wasn't nearly as interesting as it seemed. "Sweetie, I'm okay, I just need some time before I'm ready to talk about that. Please understand and respect that. I don't ask you for much, I just need you to be patient with this I promise we'll talk about it one day, I just can't yet."

"If I can speed that up why shouldn't I? If you just do this with me, I can tap into your memories and relieve anything you were a part of, you won't even have to talk about it," Ingrid said, pleading with her aunt. "I hate not knowing and not being able to fix things for you."

"Ingrid, first of all those would be my memories not your. Not everything can be fixed," Wendy said. There was a hint of anger reaching her tone, but it all stemmed from fear. "You have no idea what you're asking of me and you of all people should understand how unfair that is."

"You're right – I don't know what I'm asking, because you get to remember everything and I have to learn everything from you and mom. Which, you guys never tell me until it's too late and it all blows up in our faces. The spell I used before isn't working, but this - this spell might work. You're not going to lose me, if anything I would think we'd be closer.

Ignoring what she had just said, Wendy continued, "Secondly, there are things I've seen and done that I don't ever want you to experience, not matter how guarded you are against them. You can't promise that we won't grow apart and I can't promise that you'd be able to handle it. I know that only makes you more curious, but please trust me when I say there are things in our past that you're not ready to know. It's not that I don't think you're capable of handling them, but we're different people now, you especially. Don't ask me to risk this. I spent decades without a family, I'm not ready to gamble that on a whim of your curiosity or your incessant need to know everything."

"But Wendy…" Ingrid said, once more trying to justify her own viewpoint. "I don't need protecting. I need you to be okay."

"I can't talk about this anymore." Standing up, shaking with fear and anger, Wendy changed tactics. If Ingrid couldn't be swayed by emotion, perhaps logic would work, "This spell is a bad idea. It's not even meant to be used that way; you can't just bend things to your will just to get your way. I can't help you figure this out Ingrid," Wendy said frustrated and annoyed. "If you keep pushing then just know it's something you're going to have to do for yourself. I just hope you let go of this constant need for answers before there's nothing else left. You're playing with fire, don't be surprised if you get burned – if we both get burned."

With that said, Wendy turned on her heels and headed back inside. She needed space. Being with Ingrid right then felt like everything was closing in on her. The younger witch's emotions were drowning them both in doubt. There was too much intensity for Wendy to handle and the need Ingrid felt was drowning her.

She left for the afternoon, wandering around town without paying any attention to where she was going or what she was doing. She just needed space to breath. When she came back that evening she found Ingrid in the kitchen making brownies. She didn't have to ask to know what was in them. Without Wendy's help to perform the spell she must have decided to go back to the other one, it may not have worked fast enough, but Ingrid must have felt it was a better option than waiting for her memories or her aunt. When she walked in Ingrid looked up at her in both defiance and guilt. Neither of them said a word and Wendy took to the stares without another look.

_Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me__  
__Oh and I rush to the start__  
__Running in circles, chasing our tails__  
__Coming back as we are_

Wendy sat in her room, trying to figure out what to do next. She angrily wiped the tears off her cheeks as she stared out the window at the garden. She wanted to be angry with Ingrid, but mostly she was just hurt and afraid. She had never felt so insecure about her relationship with her family, but the time apart had made her value them much more than ever before. She was afraid that with everything in their past, if Ingrid kept pushing she would find something to rip them apart once more. Lost in her own thoughts, she didn't hear her door open.

It wasn't until Joanna sat down on the window seat next to her that she recognized the presence. With heightened senses it was incredibly rare for her guard to be so down. Joanna didn't say anything at first and she didn't try to comfort her sister with gentle platitudes either.

Wendy didn't shut herself away like this often. It wasn't like her to be so serious about trouble. She had a natural gift with her ability to keep a calm exterior and appear flippantly unruffled. It was just who she was. In most instances it allowed her to make tactical yet poignant decisions. She might be reckless at times, but she knew how to get things done.

Joanna understood that this was something beyond a simple reassurance or comforting gesture. Her sister was agitated and there was only one person she knew that could get under her skin this way. "She's headstrong, but she adores you. I don't know what exactly has been brewing between the two of you, but there's always hope. You'll get past this, just like you two do with everything else."

Finally looking at her sister, Wendy tearfully shook her head. "I don't know if that's true. It feels like she's so far away, Jo. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Everything has gotten so out of control. I can't go there with her, but she is drowning in the past. I don't know how to get her back."

Jo nodded and looked out the windows. She opened her mouth to speak, but hesitated. She sighed heavily and tried again. "I know you blame me for how hard to reach she's become. To be honest, I never noticed how much fear had been built up within her until you came back. I always assumed it was just because you were gone. I never even thought to attempt to fix that. I could never reach her quite the same way you did and I thought she was okay, but the truth is she needs you Wendy, don't ever forget that."

Wendy drew her knees closer to her chest and wiped at her eyes in a childlike manner. She felt helpless. Opening up to Joanna was difficult, but her sister was the one person she felt that she could really lean on in times of weakness. "Jo, I don't know how to help her. She's so damned determined to find out everything she can about her past lives that she's losing sight of the present. She's obsessed."

"Wendy, she's just lost," Joanna said with a knowing smile. "This isn't different than any other puzzle she gets obsessed with, it will blow over. Just be there for her. You've already opened up to her so much, she'll recognize that soon enough. You've never been one to back down from something like this; what are you really afraid of?"

Wendy shook her head, tears falling more rapidly. "I can't explain it. It's just terrifying. What if she doesn't like what she finds? She wouldn't speak to me for days after she found out that I killed her. If Penelope hadn't reanimated her I don't know if she'd have even forgiven me."

"That's the worst of it though; you have nothing left to hide from. Is there really anything you think she couldn't handle after getting passed that? Stop being so hard on yourself Wendy," Jo said, a bit frustrated at how wounded her sister was by her own fears.

Wendy's eyes snapped to Jo's as she practically hissed her next words. "1875?"

Jo looked away briefly. "That wasn't your fault. She was sick. None of us knew."

Wendy shook her head. "She never would have spent so much time on that boat if it hadn't been for me and the fight we had. If I had just gone to see her sooner, I could have saved her."

Jo shook her head, "No, Wendy, whatever you two fought about, she was just as much a part of. She didn't want to be saved and you know how headstrong she is."

"That's just it Jo. She didn't want to be saved _because_ of me," Wendy began to cry harder. She started to get up, trying to physically shield herself from the truth, but Jo grabbed her hand and pulled her back down.

Wrapping her arms around her sister, Jo spoke calmly. "You did what she needed you to in the end. She will always be grateful for that. Your heart was in the right place Wendy, not everything can be fixed the way we want it to."

Wendy laughed at the truth in those words. "You have no idea how true that is." Her sister never knew the full story behind their fight, no one did. She was intuitive enough to know what Wendy's fears were though and the small comfort helped.

Wendy had been debating on telling Joanna Ingrid's latest discovery, she didn't particularly want to hash up unpleasant memories for her sister, but she knew she couldn't keep it to herself. It was too dangerous not to. "She found the memory transfer spell and wants to do it with me. I told her that's not what it's for, but she's adamant. Jo I can't … I won't do that. You know what happened when we tried that. If you hadn't figured out how to get us out of there…" She paused for a moment, looking at her sister with gratitude and admiration.

Joanna took a sharp breath and nodded. "I remember. It was so easy to get lost in the pain. We were young and foolish, but it's not the same as it was with mother. You're here and you can stop her. Maybe you should tell her why you won't do the spell. She'll be swayed by the logic."

"There's just so many things she could run into that I don't want her to see," Wendy said, voice breaking with emotion. She bit her lip and looked away, not ready to open up to her sister either. "I guess, I just – I didn't want her to know there was anything in my past that could hurt her like that. You know how intuitive she is. I don't want to disappoint her. I don't think I could handle that from her." She didn't bother to hide her tears, but looked at her sister helplessly.

Knowing how important Ingrid was to her sister, Joanna could understand the fear her sister felt. Not being able to have children of her own, the girls had always been such a priority for Wendy. She and Freya were close, but Freya was her mother's daughter.

Ingrid had been the one always a bit distanced from them. Wendy had found a way into those walls though and had cherished the trust Ingrid had given her more than anything. It was that closeness between them that had allowed her to rest at ease in knowing that her eldest daughter didn't need her as much as her youngest. Had it been anyone but Wendy she might have been jealous, but it was hard to justify being angry about something that was so obviously true and pure.

Joanna nodded, not sure what else to say. She knew Wendy understood that that spell was not an option. She pulled her sister into a hug and sat there with her in silence for several moments. "You won't know until you try Wendy. This isn't going to go away by itself."

_Nobody said it was easy__  
__Oh it's such a shame for us to part__  
__Nobody said it was easy__  
__No one ever said it would be so hard__  
__I'm going back to the start_

Talking with Joanna had helped, but Wendy knew her sister didn't understand the full extent of her worries. She didn't mind sharing with Ingrid and if she could have just a little more control over the experience she would be glad to. The spell was dangerous, but she knew that had just been a convenient escape.

She was going to have to face this eventually and sooner rather than later. Ingrid was smart and it was only a matter of time before she figured out some way to find out the truth. For now, Wendy just wanted to be near her. She wanted to forget about the past and cherish the moments she had now. _  
_

Wendy crept quietly into Ingrid's room. The light was still on, but it was late and she was prone to falling asleep while in the middle of researching whatever she was currently working on. The first thing she saw was the empty remnants of a tray of brownies. She closed her eyes in determination and swallowed hard. She had hoped to catch Ingrid before she'd eaten the brownies, but she was too late. She couldn't help but feel liked she'd failed once again.

Pulled out of her own thoughts, her heart melted when she heard Ingrid let out a broken whimper. Lost in a fevered state, she thrashed under the covers desperately. Wendy shook her head in disappointment, but her tough exterior washed away in exhaustion. She couldn't stay mad at Ingrid when she knew she was suffering.

Despite being older than she'd ever been before Ingrid was just a child, lost in her own determination. Joanna had been right to steer her into action. She had always tried to protect her niece and guide her. She couldn't ever remember a time in their past that she'd felt so far apart. Even during that particular time she was hiding from, they had still been connected.

Climbing onto the bed with Ingrid, she scooped the younger woman into her arms. "You foolish girl," Wendy murmured, smoothing Ingrid's hair down, "When will you learn that you're already whole." She could feel Ingrid shaking in what felt like fear and cringed to know what memories haunted her niece's mind. Her aunt's mistakes weren't the only things Ingrid had faced in her lifetimes.

Positioning Ingrid in front of her so that they faced the same direction, she wrapped her arms around Ingrid from behind, pinning the younger woman's arms to her chest. The way she was thrashing about, Wendy felt that maybe a little security might be what she needed.

It seemed to help; Ingrid began to calm down and instead of fighting her aunt's grip she curled into it. Wendy knew that all Ingrid ever wanted was to not feel so alone. "I'm right here," she whispered, voice cracking as she felt tears well in her eyes. "You're safe," she promised, hoping that she'd always be able to guarantee that, yet knowing it was futile

Wendy tried to wrap Ingrid up in all the protection and love she could muster. She pulled Ingrid closer against her, her own fears driving her desperation to protect her from the struggles ahead. It would be a long night and probably an even longer morning. Ingrid would be faced with reality once more and Wendy felt that it was her responsibility to help Ingrid come to terms with that. This need for answers was turning into an addiction and it needed to be put to rest.

Feeling the change in Ingrid's movements she relaxed her grip. She placed a chaste kiss against her niece's cheek and lay back down to a more comfortable position. She would have to talk to Ingrid soon, no matter what the risk to herself. If Ingrid didn't find a way to let go of the past she wouldn't be able to come back to reality. Wendy had seen it happen before with others, it wasn't something they could just recover from.

Wendy thought back upon the one memory she'd been truly hiding from and just as quickly shoved it out of her mind. It wasn't something she was ready to face again. There had to be a way to explain the truth without losing Ingrid. Wendy feared she wouldn't be able to find it soon enough though. She would have to risk losing her all over again. Some things were just made to be broken.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Hope you all enjoyed! Let me know what you think : ) Reviews and input help me know where to go, how to improve, and just generally motivate me all around.


End file.
